Here we are again with our second review of the day. This time it is a review of "The Amazing Spider Man" Now its hard to keep the word Amazing in the title sense it is a piece of shit. When i first heard they were remaking "Spiderman" I was excited. Spiderman honestly needed a new look after the abomination that was "Spiderman 3" The problem is it isn't good to remake one piece of shit with another piece of shit. Spider man 1 and 2 were great. They did the character justice. This movie prosecutes Spider man Where he is standing or swinging. This movie follows the earlier spider man days with Gwen Stacy in the picture. There is this whole thing in the movie where u get to see Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy catch feelings. The problem is this is also terrible. The acting between Andrew Garfield and Emma stone is okay but the whole time u get the feeling that they are doing things off camera Spidey shouldn't be doing. Its extremely hard to believe that their romance is newly found. Also the editing is really bad. There is a scene in the hallway where Peter and Gwen are talking and the camera stays on them for about five seconds after the lines are delivered. It doesn't add sexual tension it makes them look like they're special ed. Now on to the tragedy we know was coming.... the death of Uncle Ben. The real tragedy was Andrew Garfield's crying. Wow was it bad. Now this leads to the climax which is Spiderman being born and it is, actually quite boring. I mean he swings on some chains for a few seconds he attacks a whole bunch of guys who look like David Guetta. Also he makes the web shooter devices without knowing he can shoot webs out of his hands. Maybe he thought it would come naturally with puberty. Plothole! Plothole! Plothole! So then we have Rhys Ifans as "The Lizard" although he is the doctor for most of the movie. He does some experiment to grow his hand back and winds up with a hand that looks like its engulfed in a magnum condom. After he sheds that he turns into the lizard and breaks a few things and thats it. Seriously more damage was caused by Andrew Garfields crying. It was that bad. Then there is the other villian in Denis Leary who is Gwen Stacy's father. He doesn't like Peter or Spidey but in this movie i was on his side. Spider man didn't really help too much and peter is very hard to like. Emma stone is hot in this movie though. Then there is the battle at the end which spans about 5 mins. And oh yea the cop gets stabbed by the lizard. No he didnt die from the 100 flights of stairs he climbed to get to where spiderman and lizard where. Plothole! Plothole! Plothole! Then as he is dieing he tells spidey to stay away from Gwenn and spidey agrees except he doesn't. He tells Gwen that there are some promises he cant keep. Really you're that shitty of a "hero" you can't keep a promise to stay away from a girl whos father died to help save you. Fuck spiderman. Also the CGI in the film.... No bueno. The coolest thing about the film is that it ends. Decent acting,Terrible direction,Lack of action and terrible editing make this an abomination. I give "The Amazing Spider Man" 3/10. Dont watch it. See you guys tomorrow when we review " The watch"
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Here we are again with our second review of the day. This time it is a review of "The Amazing Spider Man" Now its hard to keep the word Amazing in the title sense it is a piece of shit. When i first heard they were remaking "Spiderman" I was excited. Spiderman honestly needed a new look after the abomination that was "Spiderman 3" The problem is it isn't good to remake one piece of shit with another piece of shit. Spider man 1 and 2 were great. They did the character justice. This movie prosecutes Spider man Where he is standing or swinging. This movie follows the earlier spider man days with Gwen Stacy in the picture. There is this whole thing in the movie where u get to see Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy catch feelings. The problem is this is also terrible. The acting between Andrew Garfield and Emma stone is okay but the whole time u get the feeling that they are doing things off camera Spidey shouldn't be doing. Its extremely hard to believe that their romance is newly found. Also the editing is really bad. There is a scene in the hallway where Peter and Gwen are talking and the camera stays on them for about five seconds after the lines are delivered. It doesn't add sexual tension it makes them look like they're special ed. Now on to the tragedy we know was coming.... the death of Uncle Ben. The real tragedy was Andrew Garfield's crying. Wow was it bad. Now this leads to the climax which is Spiderman being born and it is, actually quite boring. I mean he swings on some chains for a few seconds he attacks a whole bunch of guys who look like David Guetta. Also he makes the web shooter devices without knowing he can shoot webs out of his hands. Maybe he thought it would come naturally with puberty. Plothole! Plothole! Plothole! So then we have Rhys Ifans as "The Lizard" although he is the doctor for most of the movie. He does some experiment to grow his hand back and winds up with a hand that looks like its engulfed in a magnum condom. After he sheds that he turns into the lizard and breaks a few things and thats it. Seriously more damage was caused by Andrew Garfields crying. It was that bad. Then there is the other villian in Denis Leary who is Gwen Stacy's father. He doesn't like Peter or Spidey but in this movie i was on his side. Spider man didn't really help too much and peter is very hard to like. Emma stone is hot in this movie though. Then there is the battle at the end which spans about 5 mins. And oh yea the cop gets stabbed by the lizard. No he didnt die from the 100 flights of stairs he climbed to get to where spiderman and lizard where. Plothole! Plothole! Plothole! Then as he is dieing he tells spidey to stay away from Gwenn and spidey agrees except he doesn't. He tells Gwen that there are some promises he cant keep. Really you're that shitty of a "hero" you can't keep a promise to stay away from a girl whos father died to help save you. Fuck spiderman. Also the CGI in the film.... No bueno. The coolest thing about the film is that it ends. Decent acting,Terrible direction,Lack of action and terrible editing make this an abomination. I give "The Amazing Spider Man" 3/10. Dont watch it. See you guys tomorrow when we review " The watch"
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